The Doctor Appointment

Today we went to the orphanage in the morning to take little Kirabo to the doctor.  We couldn’t find him and all of a sudden this little one darted past me and ran straight for James’ legs and hugged them.  I got swarmed by the other little kids who tried to hug me and hold my hand.  It just breaks your heart.  They gave him special treatment that day and got him bathed and dressed in special clothes and he got a diaper this time.  They had told me he was potty trained and at the orphanage he doesn’t wear underwear under his clothes.  But they said he won’t go to the bathroom when he is out so I guess I’m back to diapers!  Ah! 

cool rider, he doesn't know what he's in for at the doctors office!

We were at the Dr. office from 9:30-1:30.  When we were waiting, I picked a flower for Kirabo that smelled really good.  He held it to his nose for hours breathing it in.  He then had his stuffed monkey smell the flowers.  It was so cute to watch him engage in imaginative play. 

He just kept drinking the water and wouldn't stop.  He was so dehydrated.

They took all sorts of blood tests and a chest xray.  Kirabo was so good and calm for all of it.  Then, the needles came!  He let out this baby cry and just wailed and wailed.  They couldn’t find a vein because he’s so dehydrated they kept poking and poking and moving the needle around and those big tears just kept falling and falling.  The whole office could hear his cries!  I was glad he reacted that way.  They say orphans often have sensory deprivation disorders because they aren’t very stimulated as babies and often as a result, don’t react to pain.  Well, Kirabo was wailing and wailing so I was happy to see any sign of emotional expression.

Everything turned out ok.  He is extremely anemic which we already knew and isn’t allowed to fly until his numbers get higher due to such low oxygen in his blood.  So we need to start him on iron supplements immediately as it takes a while to get his numbers up.  They are still testing for other things and we are still waiting on those such as sickle cell anemia and parasites.

my first Ugandan meal, it was delicious!

When we were done, we realized he had wet through his shorts so we ran to the supermarket to buy some diapers and then took him, Sylvia (a ‘mama’ from the babies home who had to come with us), and Francis our driver out to lunch.  We were all starving!  We went to an authentic Ugandan restaurant and ordered Matooke (mashed plantains), with gnut sauce (short for ground nut or peanut sauce, and chapatti (a thick homemade tortilla or crepe).  It was really good.  We got Kirabo some beef stew, greens and rice and matooke and he immediately started eating with his hands so we showed him how to use a spoon.  He obediently used a spoon quite proficiently after that.  I’m not sure how he knew!  I could barely eat 1/3 of the food on my plate as they pile it high and it is so dense but Kirabo just kept eating and eating!  We made sure he ate plenty of greens and meat for his iron.  We finally left and pulled him away from his plate which he was still trying to eat from because we were worried he was going to make himself sick.  That is definitely going to be an issue with him. 

Our first meal together, with Francis and Sylvia

He was very quiet and didn’t speak a lot.  Sylvia, the mama that came with us, said he is definitely one of the quiet ones at the orphanage.  His eyes were constantly darting around everywhere all the time just taking it in the whole time.  He doesn’t speak much but he is definitely alert and aware.  He sits on our laps and runs to us at the orphanage and easily holds our hands but his eyes dart away from us and eye contact is difficult for him.  I’m anxious to take him home, bathe him and rub cocoa butter all over him, wrap him up in the cuddly blanket we brought for him and give him a bottle and just rock him and try to work on the intimacy of eye contact which must be so difficult for him.

As we left the restaurant and he was full, he started opening up just a bit and began pointing to cars and saying a few Lugandan words.  He really knows no English and won’t say words when we ask him too.  I can tell he’ll start opening up when he gets more comfortable with us.   He put his hands together like holding a baby and sang the song with Sylvia to the tune of Frere Jacque

“Baby Jesus, Baby Jesus

I love you.  I love you.

You are my savior.  You are my savior.

Everyday, Everyday."

He easily said goodbye with a wave and was off when we got to the orphanage.  They were setting up for mass there and he ran to get a front row seat.   Hopefully one day soon, it won’t be easy for him to say goodbye and he will begin to form a deep attachment to us.  It will take time and patience, but I know it will come.

Tomorrow is court and we are leaving on our 3 hour drive at 5:30 tomorrow am so I need to get to bed.  We are still jet lagged and exhausted from the emotional nature of everything!  Hope everything is well with you all!  Sorry about my lengthy posts but I'm also using them as my journal so I want to include everything so I don't forget!

The age dilemma

A few background details: A few days before we left we received some new information about Kirabo we hadn't received before.  We had decided based on the evidence we were given that he was about 2 1/2.  We hired a private investigator and he felt the age was about that as well as based on interviews from several people involved in the case, among them Kirabo's uncle.  The lawyers said they just now are hearing from the uncle that he knows without a doubt that his birthday puts him at 3 1/2.  We have now spent 2 days with him and talked to all the workers at the babies home and there is no way he is 3 1/2.  We discussed with our lawyers who stand by the uncle and won't budge.  At this point, to change his birthdate it would delay us at least a week if not more as well as cause potential disastrous consequences for us at the embassy if the birthdates do not match up with the affadavits including that of the uncle.  So at this point, we are kind of stuck.  We ran into a fellow adopting dad today who was on his 4th adoption and his advice was...don't cause a problem.  Take the birthdate they give you, this is not a battle you want to pick.  There will be many other delays down the road and things to fight.  You do not want inconsistencies with your birthdate when you get to the embassy.  It can be very difficult to change his birthdate when we get to the United States but when we file for adoption there 6 months after we return home, we may try then to push it through.  As for now, we will take the advice we were given and go with 3 1/2, knowing "age is just a number" here.  His birthdate will be April 1, 2009, 6 weeks younger than Lucy.  However, for our purposes and expectations with development and milestones and school grades, we will keep in mind he is 2 1/2.

So...after that frustration, on to the good stuff!  We were excited to get back to the babies' home today and got there just in time for bath time!  He recognized us before we even saw him and came running up to us with a big smile.  It was a little more chaotic today and there were a lot of tears from everyone!  The children all recognized us this time around and came running to us for comfort.  Kirabo was not having that.  He came running and pulled one kid off James' legs and then buried his own head in James' legs.  It was really cute. We watched him eat a lunch of potatoes and beans and clear his plate.  He went to wash his hands and the rain had started.  Some of the kids started to play and splashed quite a bit of water on him soaking his shorts.  They had told us the day before he had a little bit of a temper so we looked at each other as if to say "I wonder what is going to happen" and he scrunched up his face and cried.  Yup, that was his temper.  I pulled him into my arms while he put his head on my chest and I rocked him.  He cuddled his monkey and relaxed into me.  I thought to myself "This may be the first time he has ever had someone to rock him and comfort him and help him feel safe."  Not too long after, his leg flinched a few times and he drifted off into sleep.  I carried him to his bed and laid him down.  He woke up long enough to wave goodbye to us and was asleep.

Here is a picture of his 'almost asleep' stare.

Tomorrow we are picking him up in the morning and taking him to get some blood work done so we know how to start helping him with his nutrition.  That is all for tomorrow.  Thursday we leave at 5:30 am for court in Masaka, 3-4 hours away.  We are hoping after court to talk to Kirabo's great aunt and uncle about his life and try to remedy some of the discrepancy in the timeline of his life. This is so we can give him a good idea as to what his history is.  We hope to visit his village and capture some of his history for him.  Think of us on Thursday!  We hope to get a verbal ruling that day that tells us the judge will rule favorably for us.  If this happens, we can take him home with us.  If it doesn't, we will need to take him back to the orphanage and wait over the weekend.

So fun to get your comments, thanks so much for your sweet words!

The day we met

Getting on that plane was incredibly difficult.  Saying goodbye to my kids just about ripped my heart out.  The first night we were gone Alice said, "I don't miss them...I wonder why my eyes are watering so much..."  They were trying to be brave.  27 hours after saying goodbye, we landed in Uganda.  It was hard to believe the trip we had dreamt about was finally here.  Francis, our driver, and who also happens to be the nicest man I've ever met, was waiting for us.  My stress started melting away in the warmth of his smile.  He talked to us about what they think of Obama "he's not black at heart", and Hollywood, "your cops are really tough on people" and we peppered him with questions about his country.  We found our way to our guest house and struggled with our mosquito net for awhile but finally fell sound asleep for the night.

Today we woke up with excitement, anticipation and a lot of anxiety.  We met two other families staying here who are adopting and completing there 6th week here...yikes.  We ate omelets and drank Fanta for breakfast and then went with Francis to get internet capability, SIM cards and cell phones.  The ATM ate our card because I couldn't figure out the exchange rate in time...it's not an easy one to do!  Then, it was time.  We drove to Nsambya Babies Home.  I couldn't believe it was actually time.

They showed us to the room where they were eating lunch.  There were two tables of children eating sweet potatoes and beef for lunch. They were eating with their hands but they were possibly eating with less mess than my own children.  Justine, the social worker there, told him this morning that today his Mommy and Daddy were coming to see him.  When we walked in all the kids shouted hi and we sat down and watched.  Then, we saw him.  His big brown eyes stayed on us much longer than everyone else's.  James was sitting right behind him and he kept turning around, grinning and touching his knee.  We could tell he knew who we were.  James asked if he could do a high five and he grinned and gave him a mighty high five with major gusto!  You could tell he took great pride in the quality of his high fives.  Then, they gave each other knuckles and he went back to eating.  All the while, he kept sneaking peaks at James.

After lunch, it is normally nap time, but we took Kirabo (pronounced Cheerabo) out to the lawn and played soccer with him.  Man, he can really boot the ball!  We gave him a stuffed monkey we bought for him, the first thing he can call his own.  He cuddled that thing the whole time and wouldn't let it go.  He jumped on the trampoline and sang us a song and showed us how he swings on the swing. He giggled and laughed and we giggled and laughed harder.  Then we took him with us to meet with Justine in her office to ask her questions about his life there.  He cuddled on our laps (we kept stealing him away from each other unable to get enough of him)as we talked with her about his hard life these past years.  We learned how far he has come and how much happier he is now and how resilient his heart can be.  

His first toy

First hugs

lonely eyes

Showing us his sign language..."eat"

Then, the hard part came.  Justine told him in Lugandan we needed to leave for the day but would be back tomorrow.  His smile immediately faded and he cuddled in close to me.  I had finally got rid of the anxiety pit in my stomach and now I had it back.  Only this time it was because I already felt a loss in saying goodbye.  How could that be?!  We kept giving him tight hugs and cuddles and promising to be back the next day.  He left and put himself to bed and we blew him kisses good night.  

He didn't want to say goodbye...neither did we.

Joseph is the boy on the top bunk

After that, we ate a Ugandan lunch of beef stew and rice, potatoes and plantains and of course-Fanta.  We finished our errands, skyped with our kids at home (7:00am their time), met with our private investigator and came back to our guest house for dinner. 

All in all, we had a wonderful first day in Uganda.  The weather is beautiful, the people are so friendly and we met our little boy with eyes that are both bright and twinkling and then sad and lonely.  We can't wait to give him more love tomorrow!  

Justine, Sister Ana, Betty, ?

The younger kids napping

The two children that came with Kirabo to the orphange