Court Day-Warning-Extra Long Post!

We woke up at 5:00 this morning and left to pick up our lawyer, Mark, and Kirabo’s uncle, Godfrey.  Then we set out on our 3 hour drive to Masaka court.  We had everything packed the night before and packed toys, snacks and his new suit to wear for court.  I took advantage of the car ride and having Mark there to translate Lugandan for me and asked Godfrey as many questions as I could think to ask about his family and especially his sister, Angela (Kirabo’s mother).   He was very sweet and patient with me as he tried to answer every detailed question.  I told him I was trying to construct Kirabo's timeline and would like to put together a family tree for him but it’s just so different here where no one knows their age, or remembers names, or when things happened or for how long they happened, and surnames don’t exist.  We hit the jackpot when he told us he had a picture of Angela.  He promised to let us copy it when we saw him next.  It was too good to be true! 

We got to the court and found out the other witnesses, Mattia and Godlive from the Good Samaritans and Gertrude, the great aunt were on their way but were really late.  Then, we realized we had forgotten the backpack with Kirabo’s court clothes in it!  We were so disappointed and felt really bad.  While we were waiting I told Kirabo to go see his uncle Godfrey.  I thought  Godfrey might want to spend some time with him.  Godfrey immediately put his arms around him and pulled him on his lap.  He said Kirabo looked a lot like Angela.  Then, the judge was right on time and our witnesses were not, and we were called into His Lordship’s chambers.  Our lawyer was so nervous we were going to have to come back when all the witnesses could be there on time.  The judge was amazing.  He seemed like a very kind and fair man.  He praised our lawyers for having such thorough documentation and he had poured through the paperwork already.  He said he had no concerns or questions that hadn’t already been answered.  Then, he asked how long we had been here (I answered  4 days) and he wondered if Kirabo liked us.  The social worker for the babies home said he had already shown improvement since meeting us and she could tell he wanted to go with us.  He made sure Godfrey approved of us and he did. He said he didn’t need to further waste our time and was officially ruling today that he appointed legal guardianship.  He would issue the written statement on Tuesday.  We were hoping for Friday, but really things had gone so smoothly you could hardly feel bad.  He hadn’t even mentioned the other witnesses being gone!  Most people go to court in Kampala and have to wait a week for a verbal ruling and then another week or longer for a written ruling.  We are waiting 5 days for everything! 

Godfrey, Kirabo's uncle

in front of the court house

We couldn’t believe it, he was ours!  He had no way of knowing how momentous that moment was.  We all took pictures in front of the court house and I said to everyone, that to celebrate, we would like to take them all out for lunch.  We met the other group of witnesses and ate at Ten Tables.  It was the first time most of those witnesses had ever eaten at a restaurant.  We talked and laughed but could hardly communicate.  They laughed hard whenever I’d try to say one of their names or a word in Lugandan.  Mattia and Godlive kept staring at him and commenting on how amazed they were at how well he looked, compared to his condition when they first got him.  Then, Gertrude made the comment that he didn’t talk and he should be talking more.  Godlive responded that of course he was behind because he hadn’t received the proper nutrition and had been so starved.  I wondered if Gertrude even made the connection it was her severe neglect that did it.  She didn’t seem to anyway, nor did she seem to care.  They all wanted a turn holding him and loving him.  He went to each of them easily…until Gertrude.  She reached for him and he immediately flinched and pulled away aggressively and looked frightened.  Everyone laughed but my heart broke.  The pain that must be there even in the subconscious is enormous.  It’s an excellent study on how early these little ones remember.

Mattia, head of Good Samaritans with Godlive, a member of Good Samaritans who took Kirabo in

Gertrude, great aunt who took Kirabo in when his mother died

After lunch, all 10 of us piled in the van to begin the tour of Kirabo’s history.  First, we went to the village where Godlive lived who had taken in Kirabo as a foster parent when he was taken from Gertrude’s home.  She was so excited for us to see her home and led us to a tiny 1 room mud hut and we sat on a reed floor mat and smiled at each other because neither of us could communicate to each other!  Kirabo didn’t seem to be very comfortable and I was worried about him.  Godlive’s grandchildren all knew who he was and wanted to see him and play with him.  Everywhere we went everyone just loved him and were so excited to see him.  

Godlive's home

one of Godlive's grandchildren that knew Kirabo.  Kirabo didn't seem to recognize or acknowledge that he knew them

Godlive's grandchildren

A picture of Godlive's picture of Kirabo when she took care of him

When we left we passed by the school (which was just a clearing outside in the grass) and all the kids gathered in a huddle to see us.  I held out my hand to shake hands or give a high five and they were really hesitant to do so.  All it took was one brave older child to reach out and shake my hand and they all started giggling and swarmed me to touch my hand.  We all laughed and I shook each of their hands about 5 times and we took a picture together.  I was sad I hadn’t thought to bring a USA soccer ball on our trip to give them.  We have a few in our room at the guest house. 

The next stop was the Catholic church where the Good Samaritans meet.  

Kankobbe church where the Good Samaritans meet

Father Sylvester holding Kirabo

Kirabo was very worried the second we went to Kankobbe.  He was not comfortable here at all.

Sister Beatrice

Then we went to Kankobbe Orphanage next door where Kirabo went when Godlive couldn’t take care of him anymore.  He immediately tensed up and clung to James who was holding him.  He buried his head in James’ shoulder.  The sisters there were so excited to see him and they had a bulletin board in the home with kids that had been there and the majority were of him!  Sister Beatrice told us how much they all loved him and they were the ones that gave him the name Kirabo which means Gift from God.  We took pictures of the pictures they had of him on the board.  They again reiterated how withdrawn and neglected and tiny he had been when they first got them.  They took him away from us much to our concern and fed him an entire plate of potatoes and matooke (mashed plantains).  He sat there obediently and ate but we didn’t feel good about it and kept trying to sneak away from them to be with him.  He was very tense and withdrawn here.  He definitely remembers this place as it was about 1 ½ years since he’d been there.  It’s really amazing.  They wanted all sorts of pictures and were really very sweet.  It was difficult to be careful of not hurting their feelings and still protecting Kirabo’s.

Gertrude, Godfrey, Matia, Beatrice

Gertrude and Godfrey with Kirabo

We took pictures of the pictures on the wall of Kankobbe Orphanage.  The ones of Kirabo were still up!  They just loved him.

Kirabo when he first got to Kankobbe Orphanage, we think around 18 mo?

Vianney, Kirabo, Eseza with a sister at Kankobbe 

Sister Beatrice when Kirabo first got to Kankobbe

Sister Joan, no longer works there

Kirabo at Kankobbe

Kirabo with Vianney and Eseza when he first got to Kankobbe

The last stop was Gertrude’s.  As this was his worst experience we were worried to go there now.  However, we needed to drop Gertrude off and this was where Kirabo’s mother, Angela, was buried.  We pulled up to her home which was miles off any type of road just out in the grassy fields.  She showed us her “garden” where she tended to crops she would sell.  She also had pigs on the side of the house which Kirabo started yelling at and running away from.  I wondered what this must be like for Godfrey who had lost both his parents, his only sibling Angela, and now his nephew, his closest kin.  Even though he never saw Kirabo and had no relationship with him, I wondered how lonely he must feel.  He too had been orphaned at the age of 8 and was only 28 now. I couldn’t find him and then noticed he had quietly walked to his sister’s grave.  We took pictures of the grave site as well as Kirabo’s great grandparent’s graves.  We wanted to leave as soon as possible and said goodbye.  She thanked us profusely for taking Kirabo and for taking her to lunch.  We will see her again at the embassy interview so we said goodbye until then.

Gertrude's Home

granddaughter of Namukasa, sister of Gertrude,
who lives with Gertrude, possibly at same time
as Kirabo lived there.

pigs living in Gertrude's yard

graves of paternal great grandmother and grandfather
Yoanna Mubiru and Ana Maria Nakuwungu

Kirabo's mother's grave, Nkazzi Angella

taking notes of family background for Kirabo

Godfrey, Namukasa with granddaughter, Rebecca, Kirabo, James, ?, and Gertrude

Nantume's home we saw on the way home.  It's on the main road right by the Equator.

It was a long drive home and we were all exhausted.  Sweet little Kirabo had been a trooper all day, as patient as could be.  He just sat in the car the whole ride home.  We tried to have him lay down on my lap but he wanted to stare out the car the whole time.  He barely said a word all day but his eyes missed nothing. Finally, he collapsed in a short nap complete with furrowed brow.

troubled sleep

We got home around 5:00 after dropping off Godfrey and our lawyer Mark.  We were so excited to give Kirabo a bath.  James said we were going to “wash the orphanage off him.”  He did very well.  The water here is luke warm if that, but Kirabo is use to bathing in cold water so it must have felt good.  He was good at washing himself and we gave him many rounds of washings!  We slathered his dry skin in pure cocoa butter we had bought homemade from a fellow adoptive mom.  We put him in Charlie’s old clothes and put his new green crocs on him!  We blew up a USA soccer ball we brought for him and he was so excited to play with it.  He definitely is all boy and loves his ball!  We took him outside and he started relaxing a bit more and jumping around and laughing and kicking the ball.  Then, the cat came.  He threw the ball at it and ran away fast.  Even though the cat left and we tried so hard to play soccer some more, ring around the roses and other games, he stood there catatonic.  He had literally been paralyzed by fear.  We hurried and wrapped him in our arms and carried him in side.  The next morning we asked Francis, our driver, about it and he said often at orphanages they use cats and dogs to scare the child such as, “If you don’t do xxx, the cat will come and eat you.”  Well, no wonder he is so scared!

We took him back in our room and James said to him in Lugandan, “Do you want to go to bed?”  He shook his head no and tried to walk away.  We picked him up and the struggle began.  We laid down with him until he calmed down and then we had learned our lesson.  We never mentioned bed again but just took it one step at a time.  We brushed his teeth and he was so good at letting us do everything.  I put him in my arms and read him a book which he just loved.  He held onto the book and James and I laid on each side of him, tickling his back and cuddling him until his eyes shut.  We tucked the mosquito net around him which was his first time ever and turned out the lights.  We were worried he would wake up nervous in the night.  At 3:30, he woke up and was wandering around.  We thought he was nervous and pulled him into our bed but he grew very fidgety in between us and we finally figured out he had to go to the bathroom!  He went right back to sleep.  

In the morning, we woke up at 8:00 and there was Kirabo, sitting on his bed just looking at us with his shoes on.  Who knows how long he’d been sitting there!  They wake them up at 6:00 in the morning to feed them so I can only guess 2 hours!  

November 1^st was the official day Kirabo became apart of our family.  What a long and exhausting but incredibly fulfilling day for us.   He is such a wonderful, sweet boy.  You can tell he has such a sweet spirit and is a fighter to get where he is today despite all the odds being stacked against him. I feel so blessed in my life to be a part of this experience and have him be a part of my life.