Monday:
Monday morning I came back to the passport office (a tent in the middle of a dirt area where people are crammed together like cattle waiting for hours and hours in the blazing heat) and desperately hoped I could get it in time to get to the embassy at 11:30. Despite my many texts reminding him, I realized my passport clerk for my lawyers office never went down when he said he was going to. I mustered my patience and thankfully got it and made it to the embassy by 11:00 to turn in all my paperwork and apply for an interview.
When I get to the embassy, the first thing Naela, who wields all power, does is tell me his birth date is wrong on the passport. Apparently there is a 30 percent chance of errors and my passport guy didn't think to check it before we left! We made it through the mountains of paperwork o.k. while I'm sweating bullets out of anxiety, but we get stopped because my judge combined the order and ruling when the other judges have them separately. She said they won't budge. They are scheduling a week out for interviews at this point (it's normally 2 days) so I beg her to at least put me down for a date. She deliberates for awhile watching me. Then says because it wasn't my fault she would put me down for Monday. I have 1 week to figure out my 2 problems.
I can't reach my lawyers as usual, so I go there to sit and wait for anyone to show up and 'deal with me.' Finally they do but tell me the judge won't budge either and that I have to handle it.
Tuesday:
I go back down to the embassy first thing on Tuesday on a 'non american' day in hopes they let me in. I stretched the truth a tad by saying the woman asked me to come back to finish my paperwork and I got through the doors, which in itself was an accomplishment. I hand her a letter from my lawyers explaining this judge's last three cases are just like mine and that they all got visas fine. She says she'll check with the consular and let me know that day....Tuesday! Despite me carrying 2 phones, one in each hand the entire day, I hear nothing. I follow up several times and stop by the lawyer's office again...and see Kaadu who is suppose to be dealing with my passport. He says there is no update but surely it will come Wednesday.
Wednesday:
Kaadu is suppose to be at passport office at 9 am and I tell him I'll head down there in the morning and keep in touch. I get there at 9:30 and realize he is not there. He texts me Sophia's phone number and tells me to call her as she works there and they are still looking for Kirabo's file. I call her, and she has the softest voice I've ever heard and talks and talks but I can't understand a thing she says. I ask her nicely if she can talk to me in person because 'my phone is bad and I can't hear her.' She says I can't hear because I'm panicking and she's busy and she'll come out when she can. So we wait...and that is when I'm writing this. It's also interesting to note that this is the same office that has a framed article hanging up titled "Americans adopting and selling orphan's organs." They don't exactly like us at the passport office. But I do place a call to the lawyer's office and ask if they can call Naela at the Embassy as no one has heard from her and I'm worried. I make it very clear I need them to call ASAP as this is the third time I've asked and they haven't yet.
Now it is Wednesday night and I'll finish the story. Sophia comes out 1 1/2 hours later and, still practically whispering in a thick accent says, "You don't have to wait. We can't find his file and we'll call you when we do." Great. Glad I just waited in the heat while the kids played in the dirt for almost 2 hours to hear we didn't need to all along. I know a girl who just went home after 10 weeks because they couldn't/wouldn't find her passport. Feeling like the next "Sheli", I gather my children and we trudge back to the car.
I call the Embassy directly to talk to Naela and she confirms my suspicions that no one has called her and she's been trying to reach the head partner at the lawyer's office, Victoria, to no avail. I head straight to the lawyer's office and Victoria is out of the office until later today so I need to come back. However, I did have a small victory there because I saw Mark, the lawyer who tried our case, and who I've been trying to reach for 3 weeks to give me the only picture of Angela, Kirabo's mother. He hasn't responded to any of my emails or texts and no one else at the office will contact him about it. (Or they say they will but never do.) Mark handed me the picture. TRIUMPH! I showed Kirabo the picture and tell him that's his mom and he gently touched her and said, "Momma." It was really sweet. I am going to try to find a place that can make a really good copy of the picture for me so I can give the original picture back to Godfrey, Kirabo's uncle.
We go to lunch at the Little Donkey and eat amazing chips and guacamole and head back to the lawyer's office. Victoria is there! She says she talked to Naela and they are insisting they need more details and pages in the document. So she is sending her clerk down tomorrow to Masaka, three hours away, and he is suppose to wait there and hope the judge's heart is softened and he will budge this time. Naela said if he doesn't budge, the embassy will be forced to send their own investigator to the area to conduct their own private investigation and at that point, I'm here for months without end. This is a serious problem.
I ask her about my passport problem. Sophia told me if Kaadu made the error on the form, we need to re-start the entire process again (2-3 weeks). If the error was the passport office's fault, then it should be the same day. Victoria called her. She tells Victoria they can't even find the file. Victoria hangs up, looks at me, and apologizes for her entire country and says she wants to work in America. I tell her to come join us.
We had wanted to go to Murchison Falls which is a safari 5 hours away and have had to reschedule 3 different trips due to all the problems we are having. None of them have worked out because I've needed to stay to work on everything. My sister is leaving tonight and so she is not going to be able to go which makes me so sad because we had to work the whole time she was here. However, due to the amount of loot she is taking home, it's clear we also got a substantial amount of shopping in! But she is being a good sport about it. Then, we were trying to go when James got here but he's only here 5 days next week and now we are going to need to spend them at the Embassy if we rectify these problems. Of course, if we don't, we'll have all the time in the world next week :( but I'm trying to stay positive. So, the last 3 day chunk of time was tomorrow-Saturday. It became clear in the lawyer's office, there was still work to do and the trip would be cancelled. Charlie said something in front of Victoria about being disappointed and when she found out we were hoping to see the country, she said she would personally handle everything on her end to make sure we could go.
The last obstacle that stood in our way of going on the safari, was if Naela was o.k. with me dropping off the passport and hopefully the court proceedings on Monday morning before our interview. She had told me she needed the documents by Friday to keep my Monday appointment. If I didn't get them for her in time, I will be forced to take the next interview slot over a week away again. I called her and she was kind and said I had until Monday at 10 am. So, Francis, the 3 kids and myself are heading to Murchison Falls tomorrow without Carma and without James. I'm disappointed for them, but happy the kids get to go.
It has been a difficult few days and a little hard not to get discouraged. However, as I held Kirabo in my arms and fed him his bottle after the events of today, I thought about all the stress, anxiety and enormous work load I have put into this adoption for the last 19 months. I reflected on the sacrifice my children have made and James and I have made, the tears, the fear, all the negative comments we have received, the ignorant comments about having a black son or an adopted one, the shocked looks and awkward silences or simple avoidance and all the pain they caused. Then I thought about the angels in my life that gave me courage and strengthened me and believed in me and our ability to make the best decision for our family and to receive inspiration for our family and stood by us with support regardless of the outcome. You were my strength when I needed it and you know who you are. Then, I looked at my sweet little Kirabo. How far he has come in just 3 weeks with a mommy. I looked into his eyes and searched my discouraged and exhausted heart. What was there? I expected to feel resentment for the cost and toll this has taken so far. But all I found was a profound love for this little boy...and gratitude. I am immensely grateful for him. I am grateful for the cost and toll it has taken. I am grateful for the journey we have taken so far. And I know, it is worth every second of heartache I have gone through and will go through because the blessings he has brought to our lives already far outweigh the cost. It is an honor to welcome Kirabo into our family and to continue to stay here and fight to keep him. That is what is in my heart this Thanksgiving holiday.
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday as well. I think this one will forever go down in the books as my best Thanksgiving ever. I love you James, we'll all be together soon.
love,
Rebecca
Tuesday:
I go back down to the embassy first thing on Tuesday on a 'non american' day in hopes they let me in. I stretched the truth a tad by saying the woman asked me to come back to finish my paperwork and I got through the doors, which in itself was an accomplishment. I hand her a letter from my lawyers explaining this judge's last three cases are just like mine and that they all got visas fine. She says she'll check with the consular and let me know that day....Tuesday! Despite me carrying 2 phones, one in each hand the entire day, I hear nothing. I follow up several times and stop by the lawyer's office again...and see Kaadu who is suppose to be dealing with my passport. He says there is no update but surely it will come Wednesday.
Wednesday:
Kaadu is suppose to be at passport office at 9 am and I tell him I'll head down there in the morning and keep in touch. I get there at 9:30 and realize he is not there. He texts me Sophia's phone number and tells me to call her as she works there and they are still looking for Kirabo's file. I call her, and she has the softest voice I've ever heard and talks and talks but I can't understand a thing she says. I ask her nicely if she can talk to me in person because 'my phone is bad and I can't hear her.' She says I can't hear because I'm panicking and she's busy and she'll come out when she can. So we wait...and that is when I'm writing this. It's also interesting to note that this is the same office that has a framed article hanging up titled "Americans adopting and selling orphan's organs." They don't exactly like us at the passport office. But I do place a call to the lawyer's office and ask if they can call Naela at the Embassy as no one has heard from her and I'm worried. I make it very clear I need them to call ASAP as this is the third time I've asked and they haven't yet.
Now it is Wednesday night and I'll finish the story. Sophia comes out 1 1/2 hours later and, still practically whispering in a thick accent says, "You don't have to wait. We can't find his file and we'll call you when we do." Great. Glad I just waited in the heat while the kids played in the dirt for almost 2 hours to hear we didn't need to all along. I know a girl who just went home after 10 weeks because they couldn't/wouldn't find her passport. Feeling like the next "Sheli", I gather my children and we trudge back to the car.
I call the Embassy directly to talk to Naela and she confirms my suspicions that no one has called her and she's been trying to reach the head partner at the lawyer's office, Victoria, to no avail. I head straight to the lawyer's office and Victoria is out of the office until later today so I need to come back. However, I did have a small victory there because I saw Mark, the lawyer who tried our case, and who I've been trying to reach for 3 weeks to give me the only picture of Angela, Kirabo's mother. He hasn't responded to any of my emails or texts and no one else at the office will contact him about it. (Or they say they will but never do.) Mark handed me the picture. TRIUMPH! I showed Kirabo the picture and tell him that's his mom and he gently touched her and said, "Momma." It was really sweet. I am going to try to find a place that can make a really good copy of the picture for me so I can give the original picture back to Godfrey, Kirabo's uncle.
We go to lunch at the Little Donkey and eat amazing chips and guacamole and head back to the lawyer's office. Victoria is there! She says she talked to Naela and they are insisting they need more details and pages in the document. So she is sending her clerk down tomorrow to Masaka, three hours away, and he is suppose to wait there and hope the judge's heart is softened and he will budge this time. Naela said if he doesn't budge, the embassy will be forced to send their own investigator to the area to conduct their own private investigation and at that point, I'm here for months without end. This is a serious problem.
I ask her about my passport problem. Sophia told me if Kaadu made the error on the form, we need to re-start the entire process again (2-3 weeks). If the error was the passport office's fault, then it should be the same day. Victoria called her. She tells Victoria they can't even find the file. Victoria hangs up, looks at me, and apologizes for her entire country and says she wants to work in America. I tell her to come join us.
We had wanted to go to Murchison Falls which is a safari 5 hours away and have had to reschedule 3 different trips due to all the problems we are having. None of them have worked out because I've needed to stay to work on everything. My sister is leaving tonight and so she is not going to be able to go which makes me so sad because we had to work the whole time she was here. However, due to the amount of loot she is taking home, it's clear we also got a substantial amount of shopping in! But she is being a good sport about it. Then, we were trying to go when James got here but he's only here 5 days next week and now we are going to need to spend them at the Embassy if we rectify these problems. Of course, if we don't, we'll have all the time in the world next week :( but I'm trying to stay positive. So, the last 3 day chunk of time was tomorrow-Saturday. It became clear in the lawyer's office, there was still work to do and the trip would be cancelled. Charlie said something in front of Victoria about being disappointed and when she found out we were hoping to see the country, she said she would personally handle everything on her end to make sure we could go.
The last obstacle that stood in our way of going on the safari, was if Naela was o.k. with me dropping off the passport and hopefully the court proceedings on Monday morning before our interview. She had told me she needed the documents by Friday to keep my Monday appointment. If I didn't get them for her in time, I will be forced to take the next interview slot over a week away again. I called her and she was kind and said I had until Monday at 10 am. So, Francis, the 3 kids and myself are heading to Murchison Falls tomorrow without Carma and without James. I'm disappointed for them, but happy the kids get to go.
It has been a difficult few days and a little hard not to get discouraged. However, as I held Kirabo in my arms and fed him his bottle after the events of today, I thought about all the stress, anxiety and enormous work load I have put into this adoption for the last 19 months. I reflected on the sacrifice my children have made and James and I have made, the tears, the fear, all the negative comments we have received, the ignorant comments about having a black son or an adopted one, the shocked looks and awkward silences or simple avoidance and all the pain they caused. Then I thought about the angels in my life that gave me courage and strengthened me and believed in me and our ability to make the best decision for our family and to receive inspiration for our family and stood by us with support regardless of the outcome. You were my strength when I needed it and you know who you are. Then, I looked at my sweet little Kirabo. How far he has come in just 3 weeks with a mommy. I looked into his eyes and searched my discouraged and exhausted heart. What was there? I expected to feel resentment for the cost and toll this has taken so far. But all I found was a profound love for this little boy...and gratitude. I am immensely grateful for him. I am grateful for the cost and toll it has taken. I am grateful for the journey we have taken so far. And I know, it is worth every second of heartache I have gone through and will go through because the blessings he has brought to our lives already far outweigh the cost. It is an honor to welcome Kirabo into our family and to continue to stay here and fight to keep him. That is what is in my heart this Thanksgiving holiday.
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday as well. I think this one will forever go down in the books as my best Thanksgiving ever. I love you James, we'll all be together soon.
love,
Rebecca
Praying for you Rebecca and thinking about you so much. We can't wait to meet Kirabo. He seems like an amazing little boy. Happy Thanksgiving and yes, you do have so much to be thankful for. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help on this end with kids or anything at all. much love from all of the Hill family.
ReplyDeleteYea! So fun to hear from you! Thank you so much for your sweet and thoughtful friendship. We can't wait to see you when we get home! I hope you guys have a wonderful thanksgiving week! I hope Wayne is 100 percent by now!
ReplyDeleteWow, this is tough. Sorry. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteAaron
I was worried for you with no updates!! So frustrating. I get it. We had so many issues that ended up beig worked out. Hugs friend. Enjoy the safari.
ReplyDeleteI just got home and realized I was lonely for all the Uganda craziness, with cramped quarters, communication issues (with the biggest most heartfelt smiles you’ve ever seen), Kate, Charlie, Kirabo, and my sister. What she is doing is amazing. In a speechless sort of way, forget the peanut gallery - Becca knows and always has that this was meant to be and her strength and love and spirit leaves me in awe. Kirabo is the sweetest thing and since the moment I met him it was just plain obvious that he belonged. I guess my point in commenting here is to say I miss my sister and all she’s doing....I love you Becca and thank you from the bottom of my heart for including me in your journey.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet message,thank you carma! Miss you too! And I'm so glad and thankful you could come and bring the kids! Thank YOU from the bottom of my heart!
DeleteRebecca, I have just spend the last couple of days intently reading your blog and catching up on what you've been experiencing -- the highest of highs and lowest of lows. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. YOu are an amazing family. So many people talk about wanting to make a difference for someone and you really ARE! Stay strong. Keep perspective. You know this is right and it will come to pass, but not without difficultly. We will keep you in our prayers. Carol
ReplyDeleteI couldn't read these last few posts without tears in my eyes. I LOVE your family and love all that you are doing. What a wonderful example you are. This has been a long hard road for all of you and I love the sweetness that you have found in all of it. There is so much good that has come from this for you, your family and sweet Kirabo. I can't wait to meet this little stud and witness the miracle he is for your family.
ReplyDeleteI talked to Grandma Naduald today and I was so happy to hear the wonderful news. I couldn't stop thinking all afternoon what an amazing reunion this will be!!! Alice and Lucy have been so strong. We are doing a play date with the girls at your place this Friday. Don't worry, I'll be there too :). Hopefully, that will distract them slightly from their excitement for their family to be home. Have a safe trip back. I love you to pieces and can't wait to see you once everything settles down a bit for you. Please tell me what I can do to help. All my love, Mithona.